Incessant Rant
The Incessant Rant Home Page

Welcome to The INCESSANT RANT. On our worst day this site will embody .00000001% of the world’s opinion. Considering the world population increases by three every second, I'm going to have to persuade just under 260,000 people to agree with me daily if only to break even. I'm screwed...

The Incessant Rant Home Page

My Photo
Location: Connecticut, United States

I'm a Conservative Troglodyte who puts more emphasis on common sense rather than political parties.

E-Mail Me

The Incessant Rant Home Page

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Canine Crash...

No one saw the cat running for his life and scurrying under the dumpster...

Dog Drives Truck Into Auto Parts Store
By Associated Press

December 28, 2004, 5:33 PM EST

SPRINGDALE, Ark. -- Michael Henson left the auto parts store with more problems than when he arrived. For that, he can thank his dog.

Henson, whose truck had a sticking throttle, brought his dog along for company when he drove to O'Reilly Auto Parts store in Springdale on Sunday.

"He'd left the truck running -- I guess to show the people at O'Reilly's -- and the dog jumped over and knocked the truck into gear," Springdale police Sgt. Billy Turnbough said.

The truck raced into the building, stunning Henson and clerk Josh Hopper.

"The guy said he was standing there, looked up, and saw his dog driving his truck through the building," Turnbough said.

Hopper said he heard the crash and looked up from the transaction.

"His truck was in the window," Hopper said. "I thought, 'Oh no.' Everybody was fine. His front left tire just made it onto the brick wall."

No one was hurt and no humans or animals were cited, police said.
Copyright © 2004, The Associated Press

Next time Fluffy…don’t get too comfortable…
This short AP blurb reminded me of a Jerry Seinfeld show I saw years back.

He used to do a great bit that dealt with animals (pets mostly). Part of the routine (shown below) dealt with dogs. He’d set up the routine by talking about how your dog always jumped into the driver’s seat as soon as you exited the car…Professing that dogs really wanted to be people…or actually thought that they already were…There’s a definite truth as shown above…


...A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Everytime you come home , he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door, the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, HE'S BACK, IT'S THAT GUY, THAT SAME GUY. He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog. ANOTHER CAN OF FOOD? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

Dogs want to be people. That's what their lives are about. They don't like being a dog. They're with people all the time, they want to graduate. My dog would sit there all day, he would watch me walk by, he would think to himself, I COULD DO THAT! HE'S NOT THAT GOOD.

That's why the greatest, most exciting moment in the life of a dog is the front seat of your car. You and him in the front seat. It's the only place where your head and his are on the exact same level. He sits up there, he thinks, THIS IS MORE LIKE IT. YOU AND ME TOGETHER, THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. He looks out the front. What's he looking at? He's a dog. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE - A RIGHT OR A LEFT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM.

They have a hard time. They stand up, they sit down, they can't handle the turn either way. No matter which way you turn, he's not ready. They don't know what to do. And then comes the great moment of frustration. You stop someplace and get something to eat. This kills him. You get a hamburger, this blows his mind. INSTANT FOOD WHENEVER YOU WANT IT? You know what this means to him? You ever see the look on his face? He looks over at you. HOW'D YOU GET THAT? ARE THEY GIVING IT TO EVERYBODY NOW? YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE? They can't get anything.

Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money?---Jerry Seinfeld

The Incessant Rant Home Page
Weblog Commenting and Trackback by
The misguided